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Sunday, October 24, 2021

Dear Mum, opening up about pregnancy loss is powerful


Dear Mum,

Meghan Markle made the brave decision to open up about her miscarriage. Before that, Chrissy Teigen shared grief about her stillbirth. More recently, Christina Perri also shared the heartbreaking news that her daughter was born still. These are difficult conversations to have, and opening up is a challenge because grief is never easy. 

However, something changes when these conversations happen. People begin to open up about their pain, and they relate to each other on a deeper level. There is a curtain that is lifted as people become more aware of the intense pain that comes with experiencing a miscarriage or a difficult stillbirth. 

As a result, empathy is developed, and if there’s anything women need in such scenarios, it is to be understood and felt. 

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I witnessed this firsthand not too long ago when my friend Eileen gave birth to her beautiful daughter who was born still. Just a few hours before, we were over the moon and excited about her entrance into this world. The news was painful to accept, and witnessing two excited parents experience this type of loss was so difficult. 

But Eileen did something. She articulated her pain in the most beautiful way on her instagram platform where thousands of comments very quickly flooded her account as a show of love and support.

Naturally, this opens the doors for more dialogue about stillbirth, and women also begin to speak up more about their miscarriages and even their infertility. This is because they feel and see how people finally understand their loss and subsequent pain.

No woman should ever feel like she cannot open up about her loss. Mum, if you are going through this pain, I want you to know that your loss matters and your grief is important. 

You deserve to be nourished with love, acceptance, and unconditional support. I want you to remember that your loss mattered and will always matter. Your feelings are valid, valuable, and will always be important. 

Read also: Spotlight on Mum: I never expected to see my newborn baby in a coma

Releasing pain from your heart brings you relief. Something happens when someone recognises how you feel and connects with you on a deeper level. 

Empathy is energising and uplifting. It is satisfying to feel heard. This support is empowering, and as a result, it inspires you to heal. May your journey towards healing be nourished with all the beautiful feelings your heart deserves. 

You and your angels, are in our thoughts, and forever in our hearts. 

Kind regards,

Chereen Shurafa is a Doha based community counsellor, writer, and certified change coach. She is the founder of “Dear Chereen”, an online platform dedicated to mindfulness, mental health, and inspiration.

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